June 19: #29 Say “no” more often. (But not to this challenge.) Refuse things. Decline offers and requests
June 20, 2017
Phil: Similar to yes day, I wasn’t necessarily approached very much today with yes-or-no scenarios. But there was one big “no” that actually helped me today. I had a doctor appointment before work and getting there was a bit of a pain because it was off the beaten path of the subway system. The visit ended up being terrible -- absolutely terrible service and interactions -- and it had me really worked up. I then walked back to the train, in blistering heat, and fuming over the awful visit. I found myself drenched in sweat, which has always been a big pet peeve of mine. I hate that feeling. I got on the train and couldn’t stop thinking about my heightened state of anxiety and the feeling of being trapped on the train as it took forever to go over the bridge into Manhattan before work. I felt myself on the verge of a full-on anxiety attack, and feared I might faint. That’s when I said, “no - not this time.” I tend to work myself up sometimes when things feel out of my control. But this time, I just said “no” to the episode and felt it go away. Not the kind of “no” I had in mind, necessarily, but it worked. I proceeded for the rest of the day to say “no” to that voice in my head telling me to do more -- work on this thing, make sure you reach out to that person, pressure pressure pressure. Work ended and I just went home and said no to everything and gave myself some space after what was once a super burdensome day.
Bruce: I thought of this challenge as not only the antithesis of yes-man day but a sort of therapy. This came about from me trying to combat my codependent issues. To stop putting other people's suggestions and prompts to change my intended course before my own goals just because I am compelled to help. Part of the codependency is seeking validation or approval from people’s positive responses to things that you do for them while neglecting yourself all the while and the trickiest thing about it is the idea that "well I don't have a problem, what could be bad about being nice?!” Admittedly I didn't get a lot of opportunities to implement this change in mentality but all of the things that I said yes to work enriching or important. I think this would work best as a more long-term consideration and perhaps I will continue to work on it!
Tomorrow's challenge: #6 Post a picture of yourself online