June 22: #30 “Liar Liar Day” 100% honesty, no sugar-coating. Be blunt and open

Phil: I’m not sure why I was dreading this one. I pictured it being so damaging and difficult to maintain conversations without saying what was really on my mind. I realized I sort of do that already, more or less. It wasn’t that hard to not sugar-coat anything, or to be blunt and open. I would say, though, that I sensed myself going a bit further than I normally do when it came to speaking my mind. Little things, like, “I definitely do not want to eat there,” or “I definitely don’t want to do that,” where I might have been more passively against an idea or suggestion. It was rarely contentious, and actually only led to better situations where I was happier with the end result. I had my girlfriend in town for this day, which I thought was funny. I was almost dreading “liar liar” day falling on a day when she’s around, because oh the possibilities that could go wrong. But all this ended up doing was letting me be more decisive about the things we tend to play hot potato with whenever we hang. No, I definitely want to eat there for dinner. I will be running a little late because it’s important to me that I fit in time to go to the gym today, etc. It felt a little freeing to feel like I had permission on this day specifically to fully speak my mind. I realized that was the difference -- that feeling of permission. As if for one day only, I was allowed to have conviction about what I felt and thought. Lesson learned...be like that every day, no?

Bruce: This was actually one of the scariest challenges that I anticipated, and how sad is that? Whether it is a little white lies to keep people from feeling bad about the little feelings that we have that aren't necessarily moral standpoint that we need to righteously declare or big secrets, we tend to be dishonest I think at least generally as far as beating around the bush, sugarcoating information or skirting around stating things openly for fear of the repercussions of what we actually think whether they would hurt someone else or reveal something about us that would be reprehensible. I think when I envisioned this challenge I imagined all sorts of people coming out of the woodwork from my past declaring with a hot interrogation light that they wanted to know all sorts of dark things or whatever about me that would be damning or at the very least embarrassing. In fact, it turned out that that didn't happen at all. I found myself almost to comforted by the permission to be blunt and bracing myself against needing to just state declaratively and candidly one I was thinking or feeling at a given moment. The fact that I was so worried about this challenge probably says a lot about how I conduct myself whether coy and meek while trying to spare other’s feelings or just dishonest and trying to save face for myself and that should be changed. Thanks “challenging day” for yet another wake up call.

Tomorrow's challenge: #26 Prepare a meal for yourself or others